The higher up you get, the less honest feedback you get. Your team has worked out it's safer not to say it. By the time you notice, it's already been happening for a while.
I once worked for someone who would have lost it if anyone was honest with him. So nobody was. We'd nod in the meeting. Smile. Agree. And the second he left the room - pick apart everything he'd just said.We subtly resisted his ideas. Never fully trusted him. And he had absolutely no idea.
I think we've all worked for a leader like that.
Here are 3 things that can change it.
#1
Watch how you respond when someone pushes back.Not in a feedback session. In the meeting. When someone says something you didn't want to hear:
Do you get curious?
Or do you make it clear - without saying a word - that it wasn't welcome?
Your team is clocking that every single time. And deciding what's safe to bring you next.
#2
When the feedback feels vague - don't move past it.
"You can be hard to read." Or "People feel hesitant around you."
You hear it and you're not sure what to do with it. So you move on.
That's actually the real feedback. Just wrapped in something safer.
Ask: "Can you tell me more about what that looked like from where you sat?"
That one question tells your team you actually want to hear it.
#3
Make the change visible.
Your team needs to see something different - not just hear that you're working on it.
Pick one specific thing. Do it consistently. And tell them.
"I know I can move fast in a way that cuts people off. I'm working on that. If you see it happening - call me on it."
That sentence does more for trust than a year of asking for feedback ever will.
The managers and leaders people stay for/are motivated by are the ones who made it safe to give them feedback.