One of the best leaders I ever worked with introduced themselves with a “How to Work With Me” guide.
Not in a meeting.
Not in a slide deck.
Not with a big leadership spiel.
Just a simple document that landed in my inbox before we’d even spoken.
Context matters. I was new. They were new. They didn’t hire me. Which meant all the usual unspoken questions were sitting in my head:
Will we get along?
What do they actually value?
How do they give feedback?
Are they going to be hard work to deal with?
Instead of leaving those questions to chance, they addressed them head-on.
The guide was short, but thoughtful. Honest, not performative. It covered:
What they expect from their team — and what they don’t
How they prefer to communicate (and when)
What “great work” looks like in practice
Where they’re strong, and where they struggle
How we could best support them as a leader
A request for my reply with similar traits on my own style/preferences.
They didn’t know us yet. But they gave us clarity anyway.
That’s the point.
A “How to Work With Me” guide isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about removing unnecessary ambiguity early.
What made it work:
There was no pressure to respond immediately
We had time to read and reflect asynchronously
An explicit invitation to respond in kind
And we did. One by one, we shared our own guides. Then as leaders, we encouraged our teams to do the same.
It scaled trust without adding meetings.
It accelerated alignment without forcing vulnerability.
It set a tone of openness that carried into how we worked together.
If you want to write one yourself, start simple. Answer these questions honestly:
How do I like to communicate?
(Async vs meetings, written vs verbal, response expectations)What does good work look like to me?
(Quality, pace, autonomy, follow-through)How do I give and receive feedback?
(Direct, private, real-time, reflective)What are my known blind spots?
(Be specific. This is where trust is built.)How can others help me be effective?
(This flips power into partnership.)
No polish required.
No corporate language.
Just clarity.
We spend a lot of time talking about onboarding, leadership capability, and culture. This is one of the simplest places to start, and one of the most human.
Have you ever written, or received, a “How to Work With Me” guide? Let me know below.